Some of you may have seen my slightly cryptic tweets while I was in Canada saying things like "I'm afraid this is the end of a very long era." This blog will clear that up. This blog is also a heads-up to all of my followers regarding future tweets.
As most people know, I have been a die-hard Joe girl since that blue-eyed cutie looked up from his pool game in the I'll Be Loving You Forever video. And I still am a Joe girl, but this Joe girl is going to be taking a step back. Not because my adoration of that man has wavered, but for the sake of my own sanity.
For the past 2.5 years, I have had some AMAZING experiences with Joe. It started with a kiss on the cheek the first time I met him (in 2009), then being chosen for the Let's Get This book drive, then shockingly winning a spot in his Here We Go Again video, to being followed by him on Twitter, having him remember me, where I'm from, and (with prompting) my real name, then having countless moments with him in meet and greets and during concerts, and most recently one of the best days ever, my Ultimate M&G which included an incredbily awkward moment (nice one McIntyre), but was still like a wonderful dream come true!
All of these things are incredible, right? A LIFETIME of experiences! Yet I still find myself wishing and hoping for more and getting disappointed when I don't get it. THIS is why I need a break.
Please know that its not that I am ungrateful for anything I have recieved. I am SO incredibly grateful and I truly know how lucky I am. But this man has made me no promises for anything more and I need to get that into my head.
I find that when I go to concerts lately, I have a mission. Get Joe to see me. BUT, him looking at me is not enough. I want him to SEE me and light up in recognition and mutual adoration. I'm lucky that he has EVER done this, but at some point along the way, I've come to expect it. And I've had moments at recent concerts where Joe looked at me and some obnoxious sign I was holding and did NOT light up. Sure, maybe he smiled, but it wasn't the look of recognition I wanted to see. Therefore, I was heartbroken. Hell, he may not have even seen the sign OR me. But the point is, I don't want to feel that way at all. I've even sent DMs to him trying to see if I could get extra time outside of the concert with him. Not alone or anything, just a drink/coffee or something between "friends", but still! "Friends"? Who am I kidding? Dude is an entertainer! Can you say BSC???? This man has given me SO much! And here I am being selfish expecting more? And really, after all I've had, what else can I even get??? This is crazy. I'M acting crazy. And I need to stop.
I want to get back to the point where I could be happy sitting in the 200 section of a venue because at least I'm there and can hear the music and support my favorite band (and "Kid"). I want to be thrilled if I get ANY floor seat, even if its the one furthest from the stage. I want to soak up the energy of a concert and just enjoy it, no matter what happens. I want to get giddy just because Joe's on stage, even if he's looking in the opposite direction from me the entire show. And if I ever get anything more than this, well then I am just one lucky ass girl and need to recognize that. I also want to step back and let OTHER Joe girls get their chance with this wonderful man! He's kinda like a delectible cheesecake - so amazingly delicious you HAVE to share and let others take a bite.
Achieving this level of sanity and appreciation is going to be difficult while emersed in the crazy life of concerts and Twitter. I realize the current tour is over, but I know there is the possibility of upcoming solo tours and plans for the cruise. So, I have decided I'm going to take a few steps back. I'm not leaving Twitter. I may even send the same number of tweets as I always did. But I'm not going to talk about Joe as much. Sure, I'll pass on information I see, since I know so many of my followers are Joe girls and I still love the guy and am damn proud of him and want EVERYONE to go see him in ANY concert he's a part of. But my tweets are going to be focused on other things in my life. I realize this may make me kind of boring to some of you, which is totally understandable and if you're bored, I encourage you to unfollow me. Please don't let me bore you! Twitter is supposed to be entertaining and I wont be hurt if I lose a bunch of followers. Its totally my choice to move from a very exciting topic like Joe's underwear to the slightly mundane fact that I made up a new song for my baby that goes "Poopy poopy poopy!" And Joe girls, don't feel bad talking about Joe to me. Just realize, I may not be as "fangirl" as I have in the past.
I have a strong feeling I won't be going on the cruise...or if I do I won't secure a spot until way later. I also don't know what I'll do if Joe & Eman go back to Vegas. Like I said, I still love the guy and his music. I may have to see the show once, but I'm sure I will not be going several times.
Many of you know I have a new baby. I'm going to take more time to be with my family. More time to be happy at home surrounded by true love. My family has been very patient and understanding over the past couple years and I owe them... big time.
I will continue to support Joe and NKOTB. I still totally consider myself a Blockhead and Joe girl. And yes, I DO love the rest of NKOTB. I just don't have any expectations of the other members of the group. So, I just need some time to cool off, regroup, and learn to appreciate all I've already experienced.
Finally, whether he reads this or not, I need to thank Joe for ALL that he has done for me over the past 2.5 years. Thank you Joe from the bottom of my heart. He is an incredible person. Truly. My heart feels so full when I think of all I have received from him. He has made so many dreams come true. I've experienced things I couldn't even have dreamed of. He's not losing a fan at all. Hopefully, he's just gaining a perfectly sane and grateful fan. ;) I'll always be one of his biggest supporters. Thank you Joe.
Now Joe girls, go get YOURSELF a piece of that Joe McIntyre cheesecake! Its to die for!
*PS* I had to add as a side note that I decided on Saturday night (in Hamilton) that I needed to take a step back and not be such a crazy fan. Then as we had front row on Sunday night in London, Joe walked right past me on stage in his underwear. HELLO CRAZY JOE GIRL! I figured the sane behavior could just wait until Monday instead and I screamed my head off. :)
Bravo Heather! I think we could all afford to do this. You are still a Joe girl at heart, and even I couldn't give the man up cold turkey. Family and reality is what is most important, I couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteWow! You got to do all that stuff? Lucky girl! The reunion happened at the worst time financially, so I didn't get to participate in any of it. But I saw plenty of shows and attended many meet & greets during Joey Mac's "Stay the Same" / "Meet Joe Mac" solo days. So much fun. And he's so, so nice. But sometimes it's good to step back, take a break, and get a new perspective. Enjoy the time with your family!
ReplyDelete{{{HUGS}}} Heather! I know exactly how you feel. I've been jealous of so many of my friends (including you, to be honest!) going to multiple shows, multiple m&g's, having "the man" recognize them and light up like you said at the sight of them. What I was missing though is that I have this wonderful man that I call my husband who DOES light up when he sees me. :) And three awesome kids who do too. When I saw Joe in Vegas in February, I had great expectations of him remembering me and my story. But at the same moment my heart was breaking that he DIDN'T remember me, I made the same decision you did. I needed to stop dreaming about something that didn't exist. I needed to stop pretending I was anything more than just another crazy fan. I can't afford to spend any more of our hard earned money trying to get this man to remember who I am! I may still go to Vegas if they do a fall show, but I'm not making any promises. It will be hard to resist though if it means not only a chance to see his show, but a chance to spend a quality weekend with some of my million sisters!!!! Vegas was AWESOME...and not just because of Joe. If the show was all I had been there for, I probably would have been disappointed I spent all that money for so little. But the weekend included spending time with someone I've known via the internet for over 4 years, but met there for the first time. It also included meeting SO MANY BH's that I love. And...a rather entertaining evening being wooed by a Frenchman and his Scottish friend! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAll being said though, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one stepping back a bit. I love you and all the wonderful BH's out there. I love Joe too! But it's just time to be his "sister" now. :)
Wooo! Excited for your nearby underwear moment! (I've lurked enough to see that pic and whoa!!)
ReplyDeleteAnd excited you're doing what you need to do for you.
I can't wait until we get to go a show and enjoy the whole thing like it's new again ;-)